Naruto: Banned from Ramen
by DoodleMonstah
Summary: When the hokage bans Naruto from ramen due to his health condition, will he be able to handle the mental strain? Will he be able to get over his addiction? The answer: No. No he can't. And nothing will keep him from ramen!
1. Chapter 1

**- Naruto: Banned from Ramen!**

When the hokage bans Naruto from ramen due to his health condition, will he be able to handle the mental strain? The answer: no. No he can't. And nothing will keep him from ramen!

Hello, and welcome to DoodleMonstah's newest humor filled story, **Naruto: Banned from Ramen!**

P.S. How do you like the completely awesome cover art i created for this story? Awesome or AWESOME?!

**Disclaimer: Je ne possède pas naruto!**

(...did I say that right?)

Story takes place before the chunnin exams.

**-Chapter 1-**

Naruto looked around at his friends, ramen cup in hand, as he tried to figure out why, for some reason, all of his friends were cramped into his apartment. Normally he would've happy that all his friends came to his otherwise empty and lonely house. But this time, they all looked strangely solemn, and were all staring at Naruto.

Both confused and a bit uncomfortable from the stares, Naruto rubbed the back of his head in his trade-marked Naruto fashion, and asked, "EEEHHH? What are you guys doing here?!"

Shino started first, in his long-winded, round-about way. "We have gathered here together as your friends-"

"Yaaaah?" Naruto asked while grinning.

"We're concerned about you." Choji said.

"EEHHH?! What?" Naruto exclaimed, completely confused.

"It's just not healthy for you," Ino said.

"Whaa-?!"

"We think you take ramen way too far," Sakura explained.

"Naruto tugged on his jumpsuit's collar nervously. "Ehh? What do you mean, take ramen way to far?! Ramen's amazing! What are you saying?!"

"We're saying, your addiction has went far enough." Neji stated, somewhat arrogantly.

Naruto's jaw hit the ground in shock. Addiction? Surely, ramen's not that bad, is it? It has all of the food groups! Well, except dairy. Was this some cruel joke?!

If it were, Sasuke seemed to be enjoying this immensely. He was smirking arrogantly while mumbling something about, "dobe. Hn."

Feeling shocked, betrayed, and confused, Naruto took a step backwards... Only to crash into the hokage.

Naruto turned around and pointed a finger at the hokage. "WHAAAT?! TSUNADE?! Quick, Tsunade, tell them that I'm healthy and that I can eat ramen!"

"Well actually, Naruto, according to your medical statistics, the ramen has way too much carbs, sodium, and fat to eat every meal of the day in mass amounts. If you continue to eat ramen like this..."

Everyone had a grave look on their face.

"Then your ninja career will be over within four years."

"WWWHHHHAAAAAATTT?!" Naruto yelled loudly. "What do you mean, not eat ramen?!"

"Naruto, in other words, you are banned from ramen."

"WWWHHAAAAAAATT?! Banned... From RAMEN?!"

Quickly, Naruto put his hands in a ninjutsu symbol, as if to dispel a genjutsu. "Kai!" He yelled.

However, nothing disappeared.

"Kai!"

"KaiKaiKaiKaiKAIAKAIKAIKAI!"

Naruto started backing away from everyone in disbelief. This was a dream, right? This had to be a bad dream. Or, maybe a nightmare.

Naruto's face was deathly pale as his lower lip started trembling slightly. He was uncharacteristically silent, as he managed to make out, "Banned... From... Ramen..."

Ka-thump.

Naruto fell to the floor.

Blushing madly, Hinata ventured to the unconscious heap, "Um, N-Naruto?"

**xxXxx**

Naruto woke up to sun shining in his eyes. Sitting up on his bed, he started to put on his orange jumpsuit.

"It was just a bad dream," he thought in relief. Happily, he went over to his kitchen for some instant-ramen breakfast. But when he searched his cabinet for instant ramen, it was empty.

"EEH? I was sure I had ramen here..."

Naruto looked into his emergency ramen stash under his special edition ramen boxers in his drawer, but it was also missing.

Confused, Naruto squinted his eyes and rubbed the back of his head.

"Whaa? I guess I'll go to the Ichiraku Ramen stand!"

Naruto jumped out through his balcony, and walked happily to the Ichiraku Ramen stand, eyes squinted, hands behind his head. Nothing like ramen to start the day!

Seeing the Ichiraku Ramen stand come into view, Naruto quickly jumped onto a stool and said to the ramen chef, "two miso, and two beef, old man!"

"Sorry, Naruto, but I was ordered not to feed ramen to you. Something about a ban." The old man looked a bit disappointed as he pointed to a poster on the wall.

Naruto stood frozen staring at the poster. The poster hung by a kunai which was embedded into the wood behind it. On the poster was a cute chibi Naruto happily eating ramen.

And on top of the happy, cute chibi Naruto, was a big, ugly red slash along with huge, big, red, bold letters spelling:

"BANNED".

Naruto stared at it for a few seconds, wind slightly ruffling the poster in the breeze. His mind became a flood of incoherent thoughts, each one shouting to be heard. He stood frozen for a while before sho-

"I THOUGHT THAT WAS JUST A NIGHTMARE!"

Reaching up, he gripped his blond hair in his hands and subconsciously began tugging it as his mind raced a million thoughts per minute.

Was he-

Bah, he can't be-

But the poster-

Banned-

What-

How-

Can't live without ramen-!

Banned?!-

**Banned?!-**

Wait...

**BANNED?!-**

Then Naruto let out a scream so full of agony, confusion, terror, and betrayal, that it made even the most nastiest hearts shatter.

"I'M BANNED FROM RAMEN!"

Well, it almost made everyone's heart shatter. Except for a certain 'baka'.

**xxXxx**

"Hn. Dobe."

Sasuke smirked as he watched Naruto, running in circles, pulling his hair, and yelling in terror and confusion from a nearby roof.

He would have started snickering, but that would have been too un-Uchiha-ish. So instead, he settled for making strange noises that people could only guess was hardly contained snickering.

Yep, he was going to enjoy the next few weeks of Naruto's suffering.

Immensely.

**xxXxx**

_**A/N**__ So that's the introducing Chapter of Naruto: Banned from Ramen!_

_Poor, Naruto, he's always being tormented for my humorous stories! Banning him from ramen is just... cruel!_

_So, did ya like it? (Oh, and check out the awesome cover image I made :D it's complete awesomeness! And by complete awesomeness I mean best cover image made ever! Hehehe...)_

_Also wanna give a special thank you to __**sonickiller41**__, __**Fier66**__, and __**bankai777**__ because they always leave tons of awesome reviews!(Yep, anyone who leaves lots of reviews makes it to my awesome list!)_

_Ya know, now I'm considering writing an awesome list. Anyways..._

_Follow, Fav, Review!_

**^-^ !**


	2. Chapter 2

Hello this is doodlemonstah, and get ready for a super funny chapter of **_Naruto: Banned from Ramen_**

**!oturaN nwo ton od I :remialcsiD**

_(read that backwards)_

**-Chapter 2-**

As Sasuke watched Naruto go through training in a strange zombie like trance, Sasuke couldn't help but to allow himself to smirk. For Sasuke, Naruto being banned from Ramen was the best thing that could possibly happen. Not only was Naruto being quiet for once, but his other teammate Sakura was being too preoccupied with Naruto's strange behaviour to bother Sasuke with her annoying fangirling. Wether she was mad or worried at this strange behaviour, Sasuke couldn't tell. To top it off, Naruto was so far out of it, Sasuke was able to defeat Naruto in spars quite easily, which was a huge boost to his already-massive ego.

The only thing that bothered Sasuke was that when he sent some form of a verbal jab at Naruto, the blonde didn't even respond back. Why this bothered him he wasn't sure, but the benefits far outweighed this trivial detail.

Completely oblivious to happier-than-usual, vengeful Uchiha, Naruto tugged his hair. A habit he seemed to be doing more and more recently. Through training, the only thing that he could think about was being banned from ramen.

Since he had been banned from ramen, he had barely eaten much. Only things he could make himself: cereal, sandwiches, and preserved junk. Many people had told him ramen is unhealthy, but in contrast to it's alternatives that Naruto could cook, it actually wasn't that bad.

Anyone who didn't know Naruto would think that he was acting idiotic and foolish over something as trivial as a type of food, but people who knew Naruto knew how much he liked it.

But even they didn't know how severely something like being banned from ramen impacted Naruto. Growing up with a lonely childhood, with no-one to even help him get through it, feeling completely alone- at many times, ramen was the only thing at home waiting for him, ready to cheer him up. For much of his lonely life, ramen had been his only constant. It had been a comfort item, much like a stuffed animal or a necklace from a beloved sibling. So in many ways, banning Naruto from ramen would be like ripping a stuffed animal away from a small child and violently destroying it before their eyes.

Like that, only worse.

Naruto continued to tug on his wild spikey blonde hair. It had been exactly 3 days, 5 hours, and 36 minutes since he had last eaten ramen. He didn't know how much longer he could take this take torture for. In fact, if this kept up, he might snap and accidentally murder the next civilian who gave Naruto a dirty glare, and the glares happened much too often.

There was only one thing left for Naruto to do. If he couldn't access ramen through any of the stores, stands, or restaurants in Konoha, he would have to use...

The black market.

**xxXxx**

After training, Naruto made his way to a dark alley rumoured to be a black market transaction point. Taking painstaking measures to make sure he wasn't being followed, Naruto eventually made his way to the alley, and looked down into it where he was squatted on the roof.

Down below, he saw two dark figures, one a man wearing a dark hood with dark black hair, and a girl- who was faced away from him. He could only make out that she had blonde hair. Listening closely, he could hear parts of their conversation.

The dark haired man spoke in a gravely voice. "_I got the Sasu. You have the dough?_"

The girl looked nervously behind her before hurriedly pulling out a small coin bag and handing it to him discretely.

The man counted the coins carefully before pocketing the pouch and handing the girl what looked like a small package.

"This the real stuff?" The girl asked seriously.

"_It's the real stuff alright. But remember, you still owe me from last time._" The man seemed to growl. "_Unless you want to be cut off from your supply of Sasu_."

The girl seemed to freeze for a second, before saying, "I'll have the money by next week."

When she turned, Naruto was finally able to see her face. But what really shocked was that...

It was Ino.

Forgetting that he was hiding, Naruto exclaimed, "WHAAA?! INO?!"

Yelping, Ino dropped the package, causing it's contents to spill everywhere. "NARUTO! THIS ISN'T WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE!" she screamed panicking.

With the contents of the package strewn everywhere, Naruto finally realized what "Sasu" was. All over the ground, were a collection of drawings, blurry photos, and even some obviously photoshopped pictures of a shirtless Sasuke.

Ino hurriedly picked up and refilled the package and left, but not before saying to Naruto,

"If you tell anyone that I'm addicted to Sasu-smut, I'll tell them where you were today."

Naruto sweat dropped. Honestly, Sakura and Ino's Sasuke obsession scared him sometimes.

Motioning for Naruto to come down, the man with the dark gravelly voice nodded to Naruto. "_What can I get you hooked up with, kid?_"

Before Naruto could say anything, the man spoke again. "_Never mind. I already know what you need. That crazed look in your eyes, that blonde hair- you're that ramen addict everyone's talking about who got banned from ramen._ "

The man's voice once again lowered to a growl. "_Aren't you? So, what do you say, brat?_"

Naruto squinted his eyes in a true Naruto fashion, wondering if he should trust the dark, creepy dealer in the dark, creepy alley, in the darkest, creepiest part of Konoha who was hugely overcharging Ino on fake, photoshopped, Sasuke fan smut.

...

"Seems legit."

**xxXxx**

_**A/N**__ Ah, that famous quote: "Seems legit."_

_Soo... Naruto illegally buying ramen in the black market from a 'legit' creepy dealer guy. _

_Ino is addicted to her weekly doses of shirtless Sasuke fan art. _

_..._

_I don't really know what to say this time guys._

_So, uhh... Hope you laughed and follow, fav, review!_

_**^-^ !**_


	3. Chapter 3

Hello, and welcome to **DoodleMonstah's** newest chapter!

Oh no! DoodleMonstah, er... I'M talking in third person now! (First sign of insanity, people)

Would have posted this yesterday, but, well... I fell asleep. (heh, heh...)

(Mass sweatdrops)

**Ï dø ñòt ōwń Ñârûtœ!**

**-Chapter 3-**

For the next few days, Sakura and Sasuke were shocked that Naruto seemed to be acting stranger than ever. Even Kakashi noticed how odd his student's behavior was, although he was admittedly not too worried- yet.

Naruto had a crazed look in his eyes, was constantly looking behind his back nervously, often tugged at his spikey blonde hair, and was always extremely tense and jumpy. He had bags under his eyes and desperately threw himself into D-rank missions, which with his clones, got them finished extraordinarily fast.

Sakura, Sasuke, and Kakashi all sweat dropped as all around them, hundreds of Naruto's whipped to and thro, doing hundreds of D-ranks at a frantic pace. Each of them had the same crazed look and haunting desperation in his eyes.

Kakashi starting to wonder if maybe he SHOULD be worried at this behaviour. Even for someone like Naruto... This was a bit disturbing. Although on the other hand, the village was in tip-top shape, now that the D-ranks were being completed faster then ever before.

Meanwhile, Sasuke was clenching his fist dramatically as he thought, "Naruto... Such power... He's doing more missions by himself than the rest of us genin put together... How... Power... I need power... How can I get power..." He seemed to glare at his fist both angrily and dramatically.

This made Sakura squeal. "That dramatic face Sasuke is making is so sexy!" She thought while blushing and snickering and sneaking glances at Sasuke over and over again.

Kakashi was left sweat dropping at all three of his students: One fangirl, one power obsessed emo, and a certain blonde ramen addicted maniac who was banned from ramen.

Closing his _Icha Icha: Make out Paradise_, Kakashi decided that maybe he should be worried about Naruto after all.

**xxXxx**

Naruto's clone was currently chasing after a cat, when suddenly a green blur with a pair of bushy eyebrows appeared in front of him and struck a pose, youthful tears running down his face.

"SUCH YOUTHFULNESS!" Lee shouted. "You are working so hard, THAT IT LOOKS LIKE YOU ARE EVERYWHERE AT ONCE! I WILL TRY MY HARDEST TOO, MY ETERNAL RIVAL!"

And so, Lee ran off leaving a trail of dust clouds and joyful tears, and got to work on a D-Rank.

Naruto's clone just stood there tugging his hair with a maniac look on his face, before shouting, "I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!"

Making the signs necessary, the clone dispelled himself, leaving a cloud of smoke.

None of this had gone unwatched by a watchful eye.

**xxXxx**

"H-hey! Come on, man!? Don't I have enough money? I did a hundred D-ranks! I-I need the ramen, man! I haven't had ramen in six days now!" Naruto exclaimed desperately. His crazed blue eyes had a strange, unrecognizable look in them as he stood in the dark black market transaction point. His whole body was trembling uncontrollably, and he was suffering from major ramen withdrawal.

"You still owe me from last time, remember? And Ramen's hard to get around these parts," the ramen dealer lied. In truth, it was one of the easiest and cheapest things to buy.

"I-I need it.. I need the ramen! I'll do anything!" Naruto replied frantically, eyes flashing dangerously.

The dealer smirked. He finally had the brat right where he wanted him. "Ok kid, I'll give you a dose of ramen, but since you can't pay in full, instead you can pay the ridiculously high, er... I meant LOW interest rate of 20% daily."

Naruto, too deprived from ramen to listen to big words like 'interest rates' only nodded vigorously, desperate for even a single pack of beef ramen.

The dealer smirked evilly. 20% daily interest rates... This kid would never get out of the situation! Surely, this was the best transaction the dealer had ever done in his whole life.

But his smirk disappeared and his face instead became pale. His eyes widened, and he felt his breath leave his lungs.

He felt something sharp pressed against his throat. Something _very_ sharp.

**xxXxx**

_**A/N** Hehe, I used my cliffhanger no jutsu again!_

_So, today we learned: Naruto on ramen withdrawal = maniac Naruto. _

_Poor Naruto, the worst things happen to him for our humour... Does humankind like to torture him or something? He's tortured in both funny AND terribly depressing fanfics! _

_Yah sorry again for not posting this yesterday, but I only had three hours of sleep yesterday and fell asleep before I could post it. (He he he... All rested up NOW, though..)_

_Note: If it sucks, it's because I was really tired when I wrote it. _

_So anyways, follow, fav, review!_

_(Seriously, review, reviewing is awesome!)_

**^-^ !**


	4. Chapter 4

**I don't own Naruto, but if I did, the filler episodes would be a hundred times funnier!**

**-Chapter 4-**

He felt something sharp pressed against his throat. Something very sharp.

He should have known. He had forgotten the most important rule of being a dark, creepy dealer. Although making your client feel desperate got you great deals, the more desperate you make your client, the more dangerous he got. Maybe he shouldn't had held ramen back from the kid for so long after all.

But what he really didn't get, was that there were TWO kunai at his throat. One was held by a Naruto, who was yelling with a maniac look on his face, crazed eyes flashing dangerously. "Give me the ramen already, you creepy dealer!" The dealer swore that for a split second, Naruto's eyes were red.

The other kunai was being held by a white haired ninja wearing a mask. "You're operation is about to be shut down," Kakashi was saying.

"GIVE ME THE RAMEN!" Naruto was shouting. "OR ELSE!"

"If you give him ramen, it is equal to an S-class crime" Kakashi was saying.

"GIVE ME RAMEN! OR ELSE YOU DIE!"

"If you give him ramen while there is a ramen ban in place, you die."

The dealer didn't know what to do. If he gave the kid ramen, he would get S-class crime punishment. (Shudder) But if he DIDN'T get the kid ramen, there was no telling would that maniac would do.

"RAMEN! OR ELSE- WHAAAAT?! KAKASHI-SENSEI?!"

Kakashi, who had been trailing Naruto ever since training that morning, eye smiled at the ramen maniac. "Oh, hello Naruto. I was just apprehending a shady dealer working in the black market. What are you doing here?"

Naruto seemed to become slightly more sane and the crazed look in his eyes seemed to almost disappear at seeing his sensei. 'What are you doing here?' he had said. Realizing he was holding a kunai to someone's throat while demanding ramen, he slowly brought the kunai away from the shady, creepy dealer, and dropped it to the floor.

Kakashi, glad that any crises had been averted, although now very worried for his student, and said, "OK, let's bring this guy to the hokage."

The shady dealer only nodded violently, glad for his life, as he inched away from Naruto as far as he could.

He mentally reminded himself never to go into the dark business of ramen-addicts.

NEVER, EVER, EVER AGAIN, EVER!

**xxXxx**

The Konoha twelve were waiting outside of the hokage's office. Ino had a look of dread on her face. Now that her dealer had been caught, what if her Sasu addiction got found out? Or worse, how would she get her supply of Sasu-smut?!

They all talked amongst themselves as they waited for Naruto and Kakashi to come out of the office. Sasuke would "Hn" every once in a while, Choji was inhaling chip after chip, Hinata was poking her fingers together, Shikamaru was deep in thought, Kiba was studying Neji and wondered if the mentioned Hyuga ever blinked, Lee was ranting about youthfulness, Shino was quietly watching everyone else, and TenTen was sharpening her pretty, pointy kunai.

Sakura was asking nervously, "Hey, you guys, you don't think Naruto would have actually killed that dealer, right?"

Complete silence in the room.

Kiba chuckled nervously. "Nahhh, Naruto wouldn't do that, right Akumaru?"

The white dog yipped enthusiastically.

"Y-Yah, Naruto-kun wouldn't do that," Hinata said, blushing and poking her fingers together.

Shikamaru spoke up. "I think that Naruto is going through severe withdrawal symptoms right now. Although I never heard it being from ramen before."

Just then the door opened, and Kakashi and Naruto walked out. Naruto was tugging his hair again in agitation, frustrated that he still hadnt had ramen since he was banned. Naruto looked up to see everyone staring at him.

Images of stares and glares directed at him as a child flashed through his mind.

"Why... Why do you look at me with those eyes?!" Naruto shouted, before running out the door.

The others looked at each other in confusion. What in the world was Naruto talking about?

**xxXxx**

When Naruto had missed training for a second day in a row, Kakashi decided that he would bring his team over to to Naruto's apartment to check up on him.

Sasuke had originally thought it to be a great and wonderful thing when Naruto was banned from Ramen. However, with only Sakura to spar against, Sasuke was having second thoughts. Naruto gave better spars than Sakura did even when he was completely out of it.

And Sakura was concerned for her blonde teammate, even if in her mind, everything revolved around Sasuke.

And so, when Kakashi suggested they go check up on Naruto, they both agreed.

**xxXxx**

As the group continued towards Naruto's apartment, Sakura couldn't help but feel a pit of dread in her stomach.

Each step forward they got to his apartment, she felt that something was wrong. Picking up the pace, she threw the door open, accidentally ripping it off it's hinges.

Kakashi and Sasuke were right behind her.

And all of them were shocked by what they saw.

Inside, Naruto had chained himself to a wall. All over the walls, were thousands of neat slashes that likes like they were made by a kunai, drawings of ramen, and unintelligible writing. Near one of the walls, Naruto was carefully making another slash in the wall while murmuring, "It's gonna be ok, ramen-chan..."

In his shock, Kakashi did the impossible.

He dropped his favourite book.

_He dropped Icha Icha Paradise_.

**xxXxx**

_**A/N**__ Oh, no! What happened to Naruto?! Naruto, WHY?! Why did he chain himself to a WALL?!_

_And poor dealer guy. He got what was coming to him. (Have fun rotting in jail, creepy dude!)_

_Oh, and fier, would have posted earlier but I had to do boring stuff..._

_Anyways, follow, fav, review!_

_**^-^ !**_


	5. Chapter 5

Finally! My torture- I mean assignment- is over!

After being forced the read an incredibly boring book for English, and eating an incredibly healthy dinner of Mac and cheese and wiener sausages, I now return to writing **_Naruto: Banned from Ramen! _**

**Claimer: I own Naruto! Believe it!**

(Sorry, don't believe it)

Awww, Darn it.

**-Chapter 5-**

Naruto sat miserably at the wall, putting another mark on the wall with a kunai. Without even ramen to wait for him at home, it had gotten unbearably lonely for the young blond. And so, when he heard someone barge into his door, he was quite surprised.

Naruto's teammates all looked at Naruto in shock as they saw him chained to his own wall. Neat rows of kunai marks lined the walls, as well as incoherent writing and drawings of ramen. They had come in just in time to hear Naruto mumbling to himself about someone or something called, "ramen-chan".

Kakashi dropped his book, while his other two student's jaws fell to the ground. Kakashi's jaw probably would have hit the ground too, if it weren't for him wearing a tight mask.

Sasuke, speechless, could only question, "Dobe... Naruto?"

Sakura, somewhat horrified, asked, "Naruto... What is this?!"

Naruto, seeming to finally recognize them, responded, "Sakura-chan? What are you doing here?"

"What are YOU doing here?! You're chained to your wall!"

Naruto's eyes flashed. His body was trembling in hunger, and he had bags under his eyes still. He pointed to the other side of the room where a poster hung. On the poster, were the words: PROTEST! Ramen for Naruto!

"I'm holding a protest!" Naruto exclaimed defiantly. "I'm protesting my ramen ban! I'm not eating or unchaining myself until someone gives me ramen! I need the ramen!" He brought a shaking hand holding a kunai up to the wall.

Kakashi was highly disturbed at this point. How could he have been dumb enough to leave Naruto alone when he was like this? He should have known Naruto would do something like this.

And with that, Naruto looked at the clock, before carefully putting another neat kunai mark on the wall, saying, "Eleven thousand, eight hundred and twenty seven..."

"Dobe... What are all these marks on the wall?" Sasuke asked the blonde. On the walls, were thousands of marks made by a kunai, neatly lined up in rows.

"That's how many minutes its been since I had ramen," Naruto said.

Sasuke quickly did the math. 11,827 minutes... That meant roughly around 8 days, and 5 hours.

"Naruto, this is ridiculous! You're going to starve yourself!" Sakura exclaimed.

Naruto threw some pairs of T-shirts at Sakura, saying, "Do you think you could wear one, Sakura-chan? It was Ramen-chan's idea."

Everyone had the same unasked question in their head, "Who's Ramen-chan?"

Sakura read one of the T-Shirts.

_Protest! No more ramen ban! Ramen for Naruto!_

On the back of the T-shirt was a chibi Naruto eating ramen. Sakura just stared in amazement, thinking, "The quality is amazing! I didn't even know Naruto was capable of doing something like that!"

Then Naruto picked up some heavy wooden protest signs with a crazed look in his eyes and threw them at Sasuke. "Here, teme, hold one!"

The wooden signs bonked onto Sasuke's head.

"OWW! You Baka!" Sasuke exclaimed. "You're... You're insane!"

Just then, a flood of Naruto clones rushed in, all either wearing a protest T-shirt or carrying a protest sign. Many held giant torches and pitchforks. "Master Naruto! We are ready for the protest!" Yelled one of the clones. This clone, unlike the others, was wearing a "chief" hat.

"Alright! Lets go!" Naruto shouted, only to be stopped by the chain. He seemed to realize a major flaw in hiS plan. "Aww, man! I can't do the protest if I'm chained to my wall! **_RASENGON_**!"

Team seven watched wide eyes as Naruto tore through his chain, spraying pieces of metal and chunks of wall everywhere. In his ramen desperation, he hadn't even realized that he formed a a rasengon without using a clone.

At this, Sasuke's eyes hardened. What was that?! Such power! And with such ease! At the rate Naruto was improving... "I... Power... I..."

The strange, maniac look was back on Naruto's face, and the crazed look was back in his eyes.

"Don't worry, Ramen-chan, it's almost over," Naruto was mumbling to himself.

Kakashi's eyes widened. He definitely should have checked on Naruto sooner. He needed to alert the hokage. And fast.

But like the ramen dealer, Kakashi still was forgetting one thing. A frantic, ramen-desperate Naruto was an unpredictable, dangerous Naruto. And in his excitement, he didn't even realize that his favourite _Icha Icha Make out Paradise_ book had mysteriously disappeared.

Naruto grinned evilly. Ramen would be his. And hopefully before he completely snapped. _Don't worry ramen-chan. _

**xxXxx**

_**A/N **__well... Naruto's doing well, eh?_

_You know, not ramen crazy at all!_

_This chapters kind of short, didn't have much time today and where I live it's pretty late now._

_Oh, and whoever the mysterious guest reviewer is, awesome reviews! I agree, Naruto's a special character! I'm glad you liked the way I explained Naruto and ramen in Ch. 2, and I'm glad you like my story!_

_Follow, fav, review and-_

_DOODLEMONSTAH!_

_**^-^ !**_


	6. Chapter 6

Today, I faced the most terrifying monster known to mankind. It almost swallowed me, devoured me whole. It was horrific. But in the end, I came out victorious.

That's right. I cleaned my room.

And I survived to tell the tale.

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto! (Or so I say... Hehehe...)**

**-Chapter 6-**

As many angry Naruto's holding protest signs started flooding out of the room, team seven balked, unsure of how to react to such a strange situation.

Sasuke was having an inner battle with himself. One part of him- a tiny, little piece- thought that MAYBE Sasuke should PERHAPS be a LITTLE concerned for his teammate who he almost- **ALMOST**- thought of as a friend. A friend that was obviously desperate, and losing it.

The other part of him- the huge, hulking piece of himself that mostly overshadowed the smaller piece- was feeling resentment towards Naruto, hated those stupid fangirls, felt broody, wanted power, to kill his brother, and tomatoes.

Wait... Tomatoes? Who came up with that?

Sasuke only shook his head while he glared holes into the wall. "That... that maniac baka..."

Sakura almost felt tempted to squeal out loud when she saw the 'sexy' glare Sasuke had on his face, but one of the angry Naruto's bumped into her, reminding her that something outrageous was happening.

"Kakashi-Sensei, can't you just stop him?" Sakura asked.

Kakashi "As long as his protest is non-violent, I can't really do much to stop the protest," he said. But his mask was good at helping him hide his true worry. And he was worried for a lot of reasons.

Quickly, Kakashi summoned his ninja hounds and tied a scroll onto it's collar. "Bring this to the hokage!" he ordered urgently.

The dog agreed, and started running towards the hokage tower at the speed of light.

Now Sakura and Sasuke were even more freaked out. The fact that Kakashi, the famed copy nin jounin sensei, was A) not bored-looking, B) not reading a dirty book, and C) not eye smiling as he talked, spoke volumes.

**xxXxx**

Tsunade smashed her fist against her desk. "Damn! Those elders... What are they planning?!"

At first she thought that Naruto would be fine, but when Kakashi had dragged Naruto in along with the shady "ramen dealer" she had been highly disturbed.

"Naruto's more fragile then I thought... he should have a '**handle with care, feed ramen**' sticker on him."she thought while tightening her fist.

She had made sure that what happened would stay quiet and not reach the ears of the elders, and had tried to pull a few strings regarding the ramen ban, yet...

She angrily smashed her desk with her fist again, the force cracking it in two. "Damn those elders... I'm the hokage, not them!"

It was to the scene of wooden table flying everywhere that Kakashi's ninja hound arrived to. "Hokage Tsunade! It's an emergency notice from Kakashi!"

Tsunade looked up from her wooden pile of rubble and quickly unrolled the parchment.

As she read it, her eyes widened.

Quickly, she signalled down a hidden team of ANBU. "ANBU!" she roared.

"Yes hokage-sama!" Came the reply in unison.

**_Things were about to get wonky..._**

But what does wonky even mean?

**_Who knows, who knows..._**

**xxXxx**

"WAHAHAHA!-"

"Luke-warm Ramen, I am your father!-"

"Hahaha-"

"HEHEHEHE!-"

"Ramen channn-"

"Protest-"

"RAMEN!-"

"Give bac-"

"HAHAHAHA!"

"You'll never-"

"RAMENNNN!-"

As hundreds of Naruto walked through the streets of Konoha, their overlapping deranged laughter and crazed ramen rants sent chills down the backs of the citizen's of Konoha. Many of the Naruto clones had started ranting about ramen, laughing maniacally, or talking to 'ramen-chan'.

Team seven followed on the roof-tops at a safe distance, ready to swoop down and interfere if anything happened.

Ninja and villagers alike stood at the edges of the road, mouths agape.

Heads turned.

Babies stopped crying.

Babies got terrified and started screaming.

Gai and Lee stopped training for a split second.

Hinata fainted.

Anko dropped her dango.

And somewhere far away, Deidra exploded.

Tsunade arrived in the scene, accompanied by four ANBU. "NARUTO, WHAT IS THIS?!" She roared.

The roar sent a second chill down everyone's backs.

Terrified, Sasuke suddenly had the strange notion that he should leave Konoha.

It was truly wonky.

**xxXxx**

_**A/N**__ I'm not TRYING to make cliff hangers, I swear! It's just... Uh..._

_(Tries to think up excuse...)_

_Well, Uh..._

_(Tries to switch topics)_

_So... It's cold here in Canada today!_

_(Sighs in relief at successful topic switch)_

_So anyways, what'd you guys think of chapter 6?_

_mannn, I really want a '__**handle with care, feed ramen' **__sticker now. _

_And, as always: review, follow, fav, review, review, and review!_

_Speaking of reviews, thank you everyone who reviewed so far! Only five chapters and already 35 reviews... AWESOMMMMEEEE!_

**^-^ !**


	7. Chapter 7

**HELLOOO!**

I, the great doodlemonstah, is back! (Couldn't update yesterday, too busy with school stuff, but you probably don't want hear about that, so onto the story!)

**Disclaimer**** Claimer: I own, created, and drew Naruto!**

(NOT! Heh, heh, those gullible suckers believe anything on the internet...)

**-Chapter 7-**

"NARUTO, WHAT IS THIS?!" Tsunade roared. Her dark aura was was so heavy, that it was actually visible. It was a hundred times worse than when Sakura flew into a rage. Many of the villagers, ninja, and even some ANBU shivered away from the angry hokage.

But not Naruto.

Oh, not Naruto.

The Naruto leading the group, presumedly the real one since he still had a chain dangling from his leg, shouted, "I WILL HAVE RAMEN!"

The crowd of Naruto started shouting along.

"YAH! WE DESERVE OUR RAMEN RIGHTS!"

"Ramen-chan... You're so hot and delicious..."

"PROTEST: NO MORE RAMEN BAN!"

"WAHAHAHA!"

"DONT WORRY RAMEN-CHAN, WE'LL BE TOGETHER FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER..!"

"WE WANT RAMEN! GIVE US OUR RAMEN!"

"RAMEN RIGHTS!"

Some of the Naruto clones had taken the Ramen ban slightly better than the others, and they were angrily shouting protests, eyes flashing dangerously. Some of the clones were so far down the crazy road that they were laughing maniacally, eyes a crazed blue, a sick grin on their face, and bodies shaking uncontrollably as they spoke to 'ramen-chan'.

The villagers and other ninja all backed off to the sides of the road, watching the display. They didn't know who to be more terrified of: the angry hokage, or ramen-desperate Naruto. Only Naruto, his clones , the hokage, and her four ANBU were left on the street.

The ANBU started shaking nervously.

Tsunade cracked her knuckles.

The many Naruto's laughed maniacally, talked to ramen-chan, and yelled protest against the ramen ban.

Tsunade glared at Naruto.

Naruto glared strait back.

Somewhere in the background, western cowboy face-off music was playing as the two faced off, the tune rising more and more in suspense as the-

"Lee, turn that off!" TenTen shouted.

Lee had a stream of joyous anime tears running down his face. "BUT IT'S SO YOUTHFULL!"

"WE DEMAND MY RIGHT TO RAMEN!" Naruto shouted, his face showing a strange mixture of rage and anger, a feeling of desperation and being betrayed, and near insanity. His hands were shaking violently, and his blue eyes showed strange glints of red.

"Naruto, the ban is for your own good! As hokage, I order you to stand down!" Tsunade yelled. She knew that she had to get the situation under control before things got out of hand.

"NOT UNTIL YOU GIVE BACK MY RAMEN RIGHTS! I NEED IT! I NEED THE RAMEN! GIVE RAMEN-CHAN BACK!"

Taunade frowned. Ramen-chan? She had heard some of the clones saying that name to himself. Was he hearing voices in his head now? As an expert medic-nin, she knew that this happened in many ninja after experiencing some sort of tragedy and being under high stress. Could it be that Naruto was effected this much?

This was even worse than she thought. She was definitely considering getting some 'handle with care, feed ramen' stickers now.

Tsunade felt dread claw at her insides as a thought came to her.

'Ramen-chan' couldn't possibly be the kyubi, could it? There was the possibility that the fox was using Naruto's weakened state to talk to him, acting as 'ramen-chan' similar to how Gaara thought Shikaku was 'Mother'.

If that were so... Those elders... What are they planning?! What be could this possibly garner other than drive Naruto to insanity and possibly destroy the village?! And who would be able to think up such a complicated plan, other than...

Danzo.

That scumbag.

"HEYYY! ARE YOU LISTENING?! I NEED MY RAMEN BACK!" Naruto's eyes seemed borderline insanity.

Then he realized something.

All around him.

Villagers everywhere, staring in fear.

Staring.

At him.

Staring.

This pushed Naruto off the edge. He was so desperate to have ramen back in his life, the only thing that would try to cheer him up after a terrible day, yet he couldn't... And the stares... He thought things would change when he became a ninja, but there they were.

Staring.

Naruto started to back away, babbling incoherently.

Those stares...

Naruto brought out a kunai. If he couldn't have ramen, then...!

Ramen...

The maniac look was back on his face.

Ramen-chan...

"Do it," said Ramen-chan.

Naruto started laughing.

If he couldn't have ramen, then...!

Four Naruto clones rushed up. Two carrying wood, and another carrying a large mesh bag.

They through the wood into a pile, and all of the clones holding torches threw them into the pile of wood, causing the wood to erupt in a burst of flame.

If he couldn't have ramen, then...

Naruto's hands balled into fists, and gave a laugh so full of malice that people were shocked that the happy-go-lucky ball of sunshine was capable of such a laugh, even if he did have a demon fox inside him.

Panicked, Kakashi started to move. Surely, Naruto wasn't planning on-

But he was too late.

Naruto pulled out something from the mesh bag, a book- Icha Icha Make out Paradise- and threw it in the fire.

It was all in slow motion.

Five seconds from the fire.

Three...

Two...

One...

The jonnin's eyes widened, as he watched his book go up in flames.

The horror, the horror-!

It was all too much.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" He shouted.

Surely, this was the worst ninja disaster to EVER happen in history.

**xxXxx**

_**A/N**__ Oh, it gets better. _

_(Laughs evilly)_

_Yes, it gets better. _

_In the next chapter I get to torture many ninja._

_How, you ask?_

_Hehehehe..._

_So, Danzo's the scumbag, eh?!_

_What else is in that mesh bag?_

_And will Naruto EVER have ramen AGAIN?!_

_Stay tuned to find out!_

_(wow, I sound like an ad!)_

_Follow, Fav, review!_

**DOODLEMONSTAH!**

**^-^ !CC **


	8. Chapter 8

Helloooooo...

I'm baaaaaaaack...

Prepare for one funny chapter, brimming with awesomeness.

Hehehehe...

Heh. Heh.

WAHAHAHAHA!

cough, cough.

**Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto!**

**-Chapter 8-**

Kakashi only stood there, shellshocked, as flames danced around his favourite perverted book.

That book had been mint condition, was personally signed by Jiraiya, and was even special print that was made with specially light paper, meant for ninja use. The pages were so light, that ninjas like Kakashi could tell when enemies were sneaking up behind them from the slight breeze that moved the edges of the paper. Meanwhile enemies would be misled to think your guard was down and you were too enthralled in your smut.

Genius.

So not only did it have perverted goodness- I mean, literature, but on the side, it was a great ninja tool that no one ever suspected.

And now that perverted literature of goodness was gone.

Kakashi let out a heart-wrenching cry. "NOOOOOOOOOO!"

All around him, fans of the Icha Icha series silently mourned the loss of the perverted smut- I mean, great literature.

This... This was terrible! It was the worst thing to happen since the Uchiha massacre!

A single laugh floated through the air.

Two identical laughs.

Three. Five. Twelve. Twenty. A hundred and eleven. One thousand eighty two identical laughs.

Villagers and Ninja alike started backing away slightly from the massive crowd of Naruto's, all laughing evilly. One laugh by itself would have been unsettling, but thousands of the exact same laughter, overlapping each other and melting into each other...

Highly disturbing.

Combined with the crazily insane look on his face... Or faces...

That was beyond highly disturbing.

Tsunade started twitching. She was in a very hard situation. Naruto looked like he could do something crazy right now, which could easily be solved by feeding him ramen, but at the same time, the elders (and Danzo?) were putting unbelievable pressure on the Ramen Ban.

In other words, she was stuck.

The best thing she could try to do was to detain Naruto, but as a medic-nin, she had no doubt in her mind that if Naruto were isolated, his state of mind would only get worse.

Forget being stuck. She was practically chained above a lava pit.

The original Naruto managed to get his other clones quiet before announcing,

"GIVE ME RAMEN, OTHERWISE YOUR PRECIOUS THINGS WILL SLOWLY START DISAPPEARING! THIS IS A HOSTAGE EXCHANGE, OKAY?! WAHAHAHA!"

Naruto held the mesh bag, holding a kunai against it as if it were a hostage. People started murmuring amongst themselves, all worried that Naruto had something of theirs.

"Is he insane-!"

"Hostage-?"

"Ramen ban-"

"What about-"

"You don't think that-"

"We should just give the boy ramen"

"You don't seriously-"

"What if he has my-?!"

Tsunade cracked her knuckles. She was going to get out of this the only way she knew how.

"I repeat Naruto, stand down. Your ramen ban cannot be reversed."

"Naruto only seemed to tighten his grip on the mesh bag.

"I need ramen so badly, though! I can't take it anymore! Just give me the ramen! GIVE ME THE RAMEN!" Naruto was shaking, ramen withdrawal symptoms clearly visible, eyes frantic, body thin and tense.

With that, Naruto pulled out a fancy looking bottle of sake from the mesh bag.

Taunade's eyes widened. That couldn't possibly be...

Darn, it, it was!

She had been saving that bottle for thirty years!

Thirty years!

And even worse...

Her voice raised in pitch as she yelled at Naruto. "Naruto, don't you dare throw that bottle of sake-!"

Naruto's hand holding the sake edged suspiciously close to the fire.

"Naruto, don't!"

Naruto's crazed eyes glinted for a second, before turning cold. The sake bottle started flying towards the fire.

"Naruto, you idiot! Old ninja sake is especially ex-"

No one heard her finish the sentence. Some would have thought she would say expensive, but considering what happened next, it's more likely she was going to say...

Explosive.

KA-BOOOOM!

The glass cracked at the impact, and the sake splashed all through the blazing hot fire. A giant ball of fire formed, an explosion even deidra would have approved of.

People started screaming at the large explosion. Some of Naruto's clones, the ones that were closest to the fire dissipated into clouds of smoke. The real Naruto was thrown backwards. The mesh bag caught on fire.

There was fire and chaos everywhere, babies screaming, civilians running around in a panic, while the ninja tried to create order, despite being terrified themselves.

Anko only made it worse as she watched the civilians run in circles, laughing sadistically. "That's it, little humans, run!"

But then something caught her eye. The mesh bag had caught on fire. The outside had mostly burned away, leaving the contents, which were blazing away. And among these contents, were...

"NOOOO! MY DANGO COLLECTION!"

This brought enough attention that people momentarily stopped running in circles, enough to look at the bag in curiosity.

Immediately, terrible, sorrow-filled cries started ringing out.

"NOO! MY YOUTHFUL GREEN SPANDEX SUITS OF YOUTHFULNESS!" Lee cried.

TenTen would usually have been happy to see those terrible spandex go up in flames, except...

"NOOO! MY WEAPON SCROLLS! MY BEAUTIFUL POINTIES ARE STILL IN THEM!"

Even Neji was horrified.

"MY SHAMPOO!"

Hearing this come from such an arrogant genin- a HYUGA, at that, Kiba started laughing hysterically. But then...

Kiba's eyes teared up.

"NOOO! MY DOGGY CHEW TOY! THAT ONE WAS THE CHEWIEST!"

Meanwhile, Sakura's eyes stood open in shock. No... It can't be...

"MY PINK HAIR DYE! MY DYE HAS DIED! WITHOUT MY DYE I'M GONNA DIE! DYE! DIE! DYE!"

The other genin looked at Sakura quizzingly, until they heard something even more disturbing.

Ino let out a blood-curdling scream, almost giving some of the people around her heart-attacks. "NOOOO! MY SASUKE-SMUT!"

Everyone grew silent for a second, staring at Ino, who shifted around awkwardly. The silence was so great, Ino swore she could hear crickets.

"I... Uh... It's not as bad as it sounds! It's... Well..."

Luckily for Ino, she was saved by Sasuke, who screamed loudly, in a surprisingly girly scream.

"NOOOOOOO! MYYYY TOMATOEEESSSSS!"

Sasuke fell to his knees, mourning his tomatoes.

"NOOOOOOO!" NO! NO! NO!"

"It must be an allusion," he thought. Desperately, he put his hands in the symbols as if to release a genjutsu, much how his blonde rival had done only days before.

"KAI!" He screamed. "KAI!"

He watched on in horror as his tomatoes burned before his eyes.

And with that, he made a decision.

He was leaving Konoha.

He was going to escape from his perverted teacher, psychopathic ramen-obsessed rival and his messed up fangirls.

At all costs.

**xxXxx**

_**A/N**__ BWAHAHAHA!_

_HA, this chapter was so fun to write!_

_Hope it made you laugh!_

_Follow, fav, review!_

_Seriously leave a REVIEW, cause that's AWESOMEEEE!_

_**^-^!**_

_More chapters, coming up... Hehehe..._

___**DOODLEMONSTAH!**_


	9. Chapter 9

HELLO! THE AMAZING GENIUS WHO IS DOODLEMONSTAH IS BACK, FEELING AS HYPERACTIVE AS A NARUTO ON COFFEE!

BWAHAHAHA!

(That's it, little humans, run!)

**Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto. Any of them. Not even one of his clones. **

**-Chapter 9-**

Naruto shakily picked himself off the ground, where the explosion had thrown him.

All around him were fires, bells that had started going off, along with loud sirons that some panicked ninja had pulled. Villagers running around in circles screaming, and many people started giving out blood-curdling screams. Sasuke screamed like a girl as he watched his tomatoes burn to nothingness. ANBU were jumping everywhere, and many of the ninja had stricken look on their faces as they saw something of theirs burn in the flames.

Choji screamed that he had lost stash of chip bags.

Shikamaru's eyes bugged at losing his rarest game board piece.

And Kakashi was STILL mourning over his perverted book!

It was chaos.

Naruto steadied himself. Fires blazed behind him, creating a dark silhouette of his body to those that could see him.

Naruto felt more desperate than ever before. Crazed blue eyes glinted from the fire. He had barely eaten anything in the last week or so- he was starving, couldn't have ramen, and his only plan had literally blown up in his face! His sight was starting to blur, and he was feeling lightheaded and weak from lack of food, combined with being hit by a massive explosion.

Now what? He had messed up his only plan! How was he gonna get ramen? All he wanted was some soup! Was that so bad?!

WHY?!

All he wanted... Was his ramen.

"Is that really what you want, Naruto?" Asked ramen-chan, shocking Naruto out of his thoughts.

"Ramen-chan?" He asked aloud. "Is that you?"

"Yes, I'm ramen-chan, of course. But what is it that you really want, Naruto?"

"What do you mean? I want my ramen back!"

"Are you sure?"

"I TOLD YOU, I WANT THE RAMEN!"

"Really?"

"YES REALLY, I JUST WANT SOME RAMEN!" Naruto yelled at the top of his voice.

Naruto's loud yelling caused the other ninja to snap out of their grieving for their 'precious objects' and watch him with weary eyes, watching his every move. To them, Naruto appeared to be insane, he was standing in front of flames with a frantic look in his eyes, looking at seemingly nothing, and shouting at the top of his lungs to someone named "ramen-chan."

**xxXxx**

As Sasuke watched his blonde teammate yell and rant to "ramen-chan" he couldn't help but feel a shiver go down his back.

Crazy... They were all crazy... Every single one of them.

His stalker fangirls... His perverted sensei... The angry hulk known as hokage... The crazy dango lady... and worst of all...

Naruto.

Sasuke's tomatoes just had to burnt up, didn't they?!Just HAD to be put him on the team with the creepy fangirl and psychopathic ramen-obsessed freak who just HAD to be banned from ramen. People thought HE had problems?! Look at the orange phyco!

He had to get out of this place! Forget gaining enough power to kill his brother who slaughtered his clan! If this kept up, Naruto would slaughter an entire VILLAGE!

Screw it, Sasuke was leaving this place!

**xxXxx**

"Are you really, really, really, REALLY sure?" Ramen-chan asked Naruto.

"YES I'M SURE! I NEED MY RAMEN BACK! MY RAMEN! MY RAMEN!" Naruto shouted at the top of his lungs.

Ninja watched nervously as Naruto seemed to become more and more crazed, shouting louder and louder, eyes becoming more and more frantic.

Some ninja had started saying things along the lines of,

"We should just give him some already-"

"Why is there a ramen ban in the first pla-"

"GIVE HIM SOM-"

"What if the kyu-"

"Sshh you can't talk abo-"

"HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY THAT I JUST WANT RAMEN?!" Naruto screamed at the top of his throat as he spoke to ramen-chan.

Villagers started backing away from Naruto, who's eyes had turned red. Angry red wisps of chakra flew around him like a tornado. His clones started to pop away, leaving one puff of smoke after another.

Meanwhile, ninja started taking defensive positions and looking to the hokage for further orders.

As Tsunade watched all of this play out, she knew what she had to do.

She had to detain Naruto.

For their safety, and his own.

"YAMATO!" Tsunade yelled. "Detain Naruto!"

**xxXxx**

As Shino walked home after the events that day, he was highly disturbed at the days events. Not like anyone knew. No one ever noticed him unless he said something helpful in a life or death situation. And then they would continue on forgetting all about him. Always forgotten. This trait seemed to run in his family, it seemed. It was something he often resented.

But what happened that day was highly disturbing. First, Naruto had caused an explosion, causing people to start screaming and mourning their treasured goods, then he started to leak red chakra, before being stopped by 'Yamato' and being dragged off somewhere.

Highly disturbing indeed.

But for once in Shino's life, he was GLAD that someone had forgotten about him. After all, something terrible had happened to everyone else. Kakashi lost his smut, Neji lost his shampoo, Sasuke lost his tomatoes...

But nothing had happened to Shino.

Yep, for once in his life, Shino was glad to have been forgotten.

Finally arriving home, Shino opened his door and looked inside before entering.

His jaw hit the floor.

He stood frozen for a few seconds, before throwing open the door, and running, as he scr-

"AHHHHHH! DEAR KAMI!"

Shino curled up into a ball and sucked his thumb.

Because in his room, was a note, saying, "I WANT RAMEN!"

And next to that note, was something so terrible, so repulsive, so terrifying, it was horror itself! Horror personified! It was-!

A tiny squirt bottle of insect repellent.

"WHY COULDN'T I HAVE BEEN FORGOTTEN?!" Shino thought, as anime tears streamed down his face.

Yes, it was a sad day indeed when Shino was remembered.

**xxXxx**

_**A/N **__heh, that last sentence has some word play on it, so it has two very different meanings._

_Are you smart enough to figure them both out?_

_Hehehe..._

_Poor Naruto. Poor Shino. _

_And thank you to __**Lightningblade49, Fier66, sonickiller41, akatsuki-espada10, cshot20, CressidaRene, bankai777**__, and __**satnad**__ for reviewing!_

_Your reviews are sheer AWESOMENESS!_

_Well, as I always say, __**follow, fav, review!**_

_(I wonder how many times it takes to say this before you guys go nuts, hehe...)_

**^-^!**


	10. Chapter 10

Hehehehe... Hello, people of fanfic!

Here it is, the long awaited CHAPTER 10!

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO!**

Well, unless I'm Kishimotto in disguise. But that would be highly unlikely, because he probably wouldn't spell his own name wrong.

**-Chapter 10-**

As Naruto woke up, he found himself chained to a... Something. A table? Bed made of rock? He wasn't really sure. He craned his neck, looking around. Where was he?!

His stomach growled.

He was hungry.

"Ramen..." Naruto said out loud, before starting to thrash against his chains.

Suddenly, he heard a voice from behind him. "Naruto," the voice said.

Naruto once again craned his neck as he looked behind him. There, Tsunade stood, arms crossed, an ANBU at each side. Naruto stopped thrashing against his chains.

"Tsunade? I... RAMEN!" Naruto shouted.

Tsunade nodded her head, trying to act as calmly as possible, knowing from years of being a medic-nin, this was the best way to act around someone who was showing psychotic conditions. "Naruto, I have decided to allow you to have ramen. But you must not let anyone know. Do you understand? Right now, I have some ANBU preparing you ramen. So sit tight."

Naruto nodded enthusiastically, causing the chains to jingle.

"Hey, ramen-chan, they're gonna give us some ramen!" Naruto said happily to himself.

Tsunade's eyes narrowed. There it was again, that name. Ramen-chan. But hopefully, Naruto having ramen again will put him back to normal. She had gotten her ANBU to prepare a humongous portion of ramen (almost a bathtub full!) Until it was finished, she would stay with Naruto. All she had to do was keep this a secret from the elders, until she could find a better plan.

**xxXxx**

Danzo was standing in his underground grand hallway of ROOT, hand on cane, eyepatch over eye, when he sensed one of his agents approach the door.

"Come in," he ordered.

The root agent silently slid through the door. "Reports, sir."

Danzo gave a slight nod. "Report."

"Sir, while undercover I found out that Tsunade is planning to feed Naruto some ramen."

Danzo frowned. This could ruin his plan. He should have known that Tsunade would do something like this. But if Naruto ate ramen...

He knew what had to be done.

"Rat, I need you to do something..." Danzo ordered.

As Danzo gave the order, the agent's eye's widened.

"Make sure it goes into the ramen. Understood?"

"But sir, if you do that, Naruto, the jinchuuriki, will-!"

"I know. All according to plan."

The agent nodded, before setting off to do his duty.

After all, a ROOT's gotta do what a ROOT's gotta do.

**xxXxx**

Three ANBU stood awkwardly in a kitchen, waiting for their commander. He had left for ramen ingredients, he said. They had been ordered by the hokage to make a giant bowl of ramen the size of a bathtub. As ninja, their cooking skills weren't exactly great -during missions they mostly ate ration bars- and so they hoped that their commander knew how to cook!

Just then, an ANBU flew through the window. He had an ANBU mask of a rat, and carried multiple bags of ingredients in each arm.

"Hai, Rat-sama," they each greeted.

The undercover agent nodded, before setting the ingredients down.

For these ninja, cooking a giant ramen was perhaps the hardest mission in their life.

"We need boiling water!" The captain yelled.

"Yes, chief!" Said two of the ANBU, before yelling out jutsu's in synchronization.

"Water jet jutsu!"

"Fire ball jutsu!"

Two huge huge and destructive jutsu's flew across the kitchen.

"YOU IDIOTS, YOU'RE DESTROYING THE KITCHEN!" Yelled the third ANBU.

"Okay, I need these veggies cut up!" Yelled the captain.

A swarm of kunai and a dangerous looking wind jutsu flew towards the vegetables, embedding the kunai's and veggies into the wall, while the wind jutsu tore down half of the counter.

"YOU IDIOTS, YOU DON'T USE KUNAI AND FREAKING JUTSU TO COOK! YOU'RE DESTROYING THE KITCHEN!" the third ANBU yelled.

"Ok, I need some meat!" Yelled the captain.

"SUMMONING JUTSU!" Yelled an ANBU.

"FIREBALL JUTSU!" Yelled the second.

The the third ANBU looked on in horror as he saw his teammates roast their own summon for meat, effectively scorching the kitchen.

"YOU IDIOTS, YOU JUST KILLED YOUR OWN SUMMON! THIS IS COOKING, WE'RE NOT IN A NINJA BATTLE!" The third ANBU yelled.

"We need the noodle dough thawed!" Shouted the commander.

"YES SIR!" Two ANBU yelled, before sending a variety of chakra powered punches and kicks along with a fire jutsu towards the partly frozen dough.

The third ANBU stared as they sent chunks of dough flying in every direction from their chakra punches, and scorched the room with their fire jutsu. Pieces of goopy dough stuck on the ceiling and walls, occasionally falling down to the floor.

"YOU IDIOTS! WE HAVE A MICROWAVE! STOP WITH THE JUTSU!" The third ANBU yelled.

"We need a giant bowl!" Yelled the captain.

"Earth jutsu!" An ANBU yelled, forming a giant ramen bowl, while also taking out half the kitchen.

The third ANBU started twitching. "YOU IDIOT, HALF THE KITCHEN IS-"

He stopped for a second, as he inspected the bowl.

"Wow, what jutsu was that, it was actually pretty cool!"

Alas, a few more torrents of kunai, jutsu, chakra powered kicks, and quite a lot of yelling later, the ANBU were left with an utterly destroyed kitchen and a giant bowl of ramen.

"That will be all for today, I will deliver the ramen personally. Just make sure you clean yourselves off," said the root agent, undercover as a ANBU agent.

The three ANBU looked down at their uniforms, which were scorched, splattered with their summon's blood, and covered with ramen.

"Yes sir!" They yelled. They would definitely need to get cleaned off, who knew cooking was so gory?

The undercover agent watched them leave, before pulling out a storage scroll and unsealing some jugs that Danzo had given him. He began to pour the contents into the giant bowl of ramen, and black, evil-looking, menacing liquid made black clouds within the ramen, twisting and twirling until all of the ramen broth was a near-black.

It smelled awful.

The ROOT agent shuddered slightly, wondering just WHAT Danzo was planning.

**xxXxx**

**A/N** _Heh Heh, that's what you get when you order elite dangerous destructive weapons of ninja war to cook ramen!_

_Completely destroyed kitchen. _

_And WHAT is that Danzo dude planning?_

_Lol, another fun chapter to write!_

_So I hope you enjoyed reading! (And if you did...)_

_Follow, Fav, REVIEW!_

**^-^ !**


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto!**

I'm thinking about kidnapping one of his clones though. I'll just put it in a huge jar with air holes, ramen and water. And maybe some orange crayons.

**-Chapter 11-**

Shizune came running to Tsunade in panic. "Tsunade! It's an emergency! The kitchen- the ANBU totally ruined it! It's completely black and scorched, everything's destroyed, and there is dough and blood everywhere!"

Tsunade felt her blood boil. She gives her ANBU a simple mission, to cook a ramen the size of a bathtub, and they COMPLETELY DESTROY THE KITCHEN?!

She cracked her knuckles. The kitchen BETTER not be as bad as Shizune described it, or else there were going to be some very DEAD ninja!

She looked at Naruto, who was ranting about all the different types of ramen flavours to 'ramen-chan', who seemed to be making Naruto angry.

"Naruto, I'm going to check up on an emergency, OK? Just wait here, and the ramen should arrive."

But Naruto barely seemed to notice her as he leave.

**xxXxx**

"Nope, miso ramen sucks. Only beef ramen is worth eating," Ramen-chan was saying smugly.

Naruto angrily shouted, "ALL OF THE RAMEN ARE GOOD! I LIKE ALL OF THE RAMEN! ALL OF THEM!"

"You know, I bet you they aren't even going to give you any ramen. Either that or they'll give you something gross, or poisoned. You know they don't like you, don't you?!"

Naruto gritted his teeth and struggled against his chains. "They wouldn't do that! Granny Tsunade wouldn't do that! I have friends now, it's not the same anymore!"

"Are you sure? I think that we should just destroy all the weak humans who are keeping us away from ramen," Ramen-chan answered.

Naruto shook his head vigorously. "Just you watch, they're gonna give me a giant ramen! I'll bet it'll be huge!"

**xxXxx**

The three ANBU stood in the middle of a completely and utterly destroyed kitchen, trembling as the hokage towered over them.

"WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELVES?!" Tsunade shouted, an aura of pure anger radiating of her. She felt an impending headache coming on, and she wanted nothing other than to go on a sake-drinking rampage! The only problem... Naruto burned up her first sake stash, while these ANBU burned up the second, along with a kitchen!

The answer came out more like a question. "Umm... We were cooking ramen, Tsunade hokage?!"

All of the ANBU could clearly hear the barely contained rage in their hokage's voice as she said, "You... call... this... COOKING?!" She gestured to the kitchen around them angrily.

Although it was hard to tell it was ever a kitchen. No counter tops existed, just smouldering black heaps of ashes burying the floor. The walls were cracked, scorched, and covered with kunai that were sticking in the walls. In one of the walls, was a huge gaping hole that allowed people to look into the building from the outside. Blood from the summon was sprayed on all of the walls, and there were vegetables and globs of dough stuck to ceiling. The whole kitchen was a black, smouldering mess.

"I... Er... I tried to stop them!" Yelled the third ANBU.

"What do you mean, tried to stop us?! Once you saw the giant ramen bowl I made with my earth jutsu, you put that hole in the wall!"

"That was your summon! That you ROASTED!"

The ANBU's eyes widened, realizing what he had done. He had roasted his own summon! "Oh crap... I ROASTED MY OWN SUMMON!"

"QUIET!" The hokage's eye was twitching as she glared at her ANBU. The three ANBU gulped. They had only made ANBU three months ago, and so were considered, "newbies". But even they knew that the hokage's temper was not a force to be reckoned with.

"AS YOUR CONSEQUENCE, ALL THREE OF YOU ARE GOING TO BE PUT INTO A PROPER NINJA COOKING CLASS!"

The three ANBU nodded nervously, as they edged away from the angry slug sannin. "Y-Yes Tsunade-Hokage!"

"NOW HURRY ON BEFORE I 'ACCIDENT' YOU!"

**xxXxx**

The undercover ROOT agent carried the huge ramen bowl with a bit of difficulty: it was hard getting it through the narrow doorways without spilling any, not to mention these doorways were quite narrow...

Finally getting to the door where Naruto was being kept, he managed to get it through the door and in front of the blond.

Immediately the blonde tried to shoot strait up, although he was stopped somewhat by the chains. He looked completely ravenous as he tried to lunge towards the ramen.

"GIANT RAMEN! RAMEN! RAMEN RAMEN RAMEN!"

The ROOT agent considered taking the chains off so he could eat his ramen, but if he did that, he wouldn't be able to get a head starts run to get away when Naruto tried the soup.

Because he did NOT want to be around when Naruto tried the soup with whatever it was Danzo added in.

"RAMEN RAMEN RAMEN, RASENGON!"

The ROOT agent stared in shock as Naruto slammed a rasengon against his chains, spraying metal links everywhere. Apparently this wasn't the first time he broke out of chains with a rasengon.

The ROOT agent decided to get a head start, and ran out into the hall, and listened from outside the door.

"SEE RAMEN-CHAN! IT'S RAMEN!"

A few seconds later...

"AGGGHH! WHAT IS THIS! IT ISN'T FIT TO BE CALLED RAMEN! WHOEVER DID THIS IS A MONSTER! WHY?! WHY, RAMEN, WHY?! WHOEVER DID THIS IS GONNA..."

The ANBU didn't stick around to hear the rest of that sentence. He promptly jumped out the window.

**xxXxx**

Meanwhile, not far from the observing tower Naruto was stored in, Sasuke stood at Konoha's border with an overly dramatic look on his face. He silently gave Konoha one last look.

Where would he go next? He didn't know. Not that he was worried. He was a Uchiha! Any village would gladly accept him as their own! In fact, they would probably beg Sasuke to join him!

The wind ruffled his duck-butt hair, as he repositioned his bag. No doubt, he would become powerful in the new village! Then... he would defeat Itachi and restore his clan!

KABOOM!

An ANBU started flying into him from towards some tower, smacking into his face, leaving a trail of smoke. Sasuke looked at the ANBU, who had a rat mask on. He was out cold.

How strange.

thump.

Thump.

THUMP.

An angry Naruto appeared, eyes red, red chakra swirling around him. He glared at the unconscious ANBU and shouted.

"HOW DARE YOU?! I WANTED RAMEN! THAT WAS NOT RAMEN, IT WAS TERRIBLE! IT WAS HORRIBLE!"

The ANBU groaned slightly.

"RAMEN!" Naruto once again had the crazed look back, but even worse than before. His red eyes and demonic chakra only added to it. His whiskers were black and widened, and his fingers had seemingly become claws.

His eyes slowly trailed away from the ANBU, and landed on Sasuke.

Sasuke froze.

Earlier, he had seen Naruto with the red chakra, but now... Naruto had claws, fangs, and his cold red eyes were staring at him steadily. What was this? Some type of strange withdrawal symptom? A kekkie gentai? Was Naruto... some type of monster?! Or was this some special ability?

Sasuke stiffened. Naruto aside, he was still leaving Konoha. Nothing would stop him now. Not even his ramen-desperate teammate.

They glared at each other, before Naruto finally spoke.

"Ramen. Ramen ramen." Naruto said.

"Hn. Hn hn hn hn." Sasuke replied.

"Ramen? Ramen ramen ramen!"

"Hn! Hn... Hn!"

"RAMEN, RAMEN!"

"HN HN, HN HN!"

The Undercover ROOT ageant looked up blearily, and wondered wether he was hearing things right. The two seemed to be pulling of a conversation composed of only grunts and 'ramen's, and even stranger, they seemed to understand each other. They even seemed to be in a heated argument! The agent wondered briefly for a second if he were still dreaming, before unconsciousness quickly retook him.

**xxXxx**

_**N/A**__ Bet you can't speak 'hn' or 'ramen'. Interesting languages, they are. I'm pretty fluent in both. _

_Don't worry, their argument will be translated next chapter. Or if you want, plug it into google translate. _

_Oh, and it was Naruto's B-Day! (Yesterday...)_

_AND... I DREW MYSELF A NEW AWESOME PROFILE PIC! (IT''S EITHER AWESOME, OR AWESOME)_

**^-^ !**

**_"CRAZINESS HAS NO LIMITS! BWAHAHAHA!"_**

**_-quote by doodlemonstah. _**


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